newsletter 2-7

On the first day God created the dog. He said, “Sit by the door of your house and bark ay anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten.” God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, “Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.” The monkey said, “How boring. Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?” And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.” The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I’ll give you back the other forty.” And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I’ll give you twenty years.” Man said, “What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back. and the ten the dog gave back, That makes eighty, okay?” “Okay,” said God, “you’ve got a deal.”

So, that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone!

Life has now been explained to you!!

Recently, while perusing some old newspapers that had been donated, there was a “tid-bit-ish” type item that told about local business man’s recent trip to Charleston, WV.
One of the items mentioned from the “big” city was a novel method of paving streets. Apparently Charleston had paved a street in the following manner eleven years earlier and the street was still in excellent condition. Their method was, after the street was at grade, three or four inches of good sand was put down and leveled. Next, two inch oak planks, dipped in tar were placed on the sand and another two inches of sand covered the planks. On top of the final layer of sand, good-hard bricks were laid endwise. This method supposedly created a street that was as smooth and long-lasting as a sidewalk.
While it is reported that other large cities experimented using lumber for building streets, no evidence has as yet “surfaced” that indicates that it was ever tried in Parkersburg.

Locally, in 1886, the Parkersburg “weather clerk” used flags to “get the weather word” out to the populace. The flags were displayed from the flagstaff at the Academy of Music.
From the DSJ

Despite worldwide popularity, crossword puzzles have a relatively short history. The first word puzzles resembling today’s crossword puzzle appeared in England in the 19th century. Journalist Arthur Wynne of Liverpool is genuinely credited as the creator of the crossword puzzle concept. His first word games were simple puzzles evolving from the word square, a group of words arranged so the letters read alike vertically and horizontally.
Although most of the first crossword puzzles were printed in children’s publications in England, the concept developed into a serious adult pastime once the puzzles hit the Unites States. During the 1920s, newspapers began to include crosswords at such an accelerated rate that within a decade the puzzles were featured in almost every American newspaper. The popular form that was originally called a cryptic puzzle rapidly caught on, and over the decades evolved into the familiar crossword puzzle we know and play today.

What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place?
Answer: The letter “e”